|Posted on May 24, 2018 at 10:20 AM||comments (3)|
By, Jessica Brown
Dear Judgemental Members of Society,
Let me put it simple. WE ARE TIRED!
Since they were two years old people have been telling us our perfect little angel is …..well…not perfect.
Since they were three we have been compensating by overscheduling them with activities so they could make up these imperfections.
Since they were four we have been playing catch up with all those who we believe our kids have to be in par with.
Since they were five we have been trying to make the choices that we are told will shape their entire academic and social futures.
Since they were six we have been shuffling them back and forth to make sure they don’t live inside their Ipads all afternoon.
Since they were seven …yes…we’ve been noticing those academic challenges. We’ve just been busy praying that they will sort themselves out.
Since they were eight we’ve been pushing back bedtimes just so we can spend one hour with our kids, spouses or just take a shower while everyone is being quiet.
Since they were nine we’ve been arguing over Minecraft while debating the necessity of making our kids take a bath. I mean…they just took one yesterday right?
Since they were ten we’ve been on Google searching for the best way to keep up on social media so we can keep tabs on them online.
Since they were eleven we’ve been once again praying that we have the strength to deal with puberty and where that may take us. So you see society, I’m trying hard to be just me. Sometimes that’s not pretty and I make mistakes.
All I can do is move forward and pray tomorrow is better.
Sincerely, A Mom
|Posted on May 9, 2018 at 4:50 PM||comments (0)|
By, Diana Scharf
Ever wonder what your kids think you do all day? As we approach Mother’s Day, we asked our students, ages 2-6, “what do mommies do?” Here is what they said:
THEY DO HOUSEWORK. We got a lot of answers relating to housework, with cleaning leading that category. Big shocker there! (I’d kinda like to know why Daddy doesn’t clean, but that is another blog for another time!) Other answers included washing dishes and doing laundry.
THEY FEED YOU. I personally consider cooking as part of housework, but we got so many answers about food that it really needed it’s own category. Mommies “cook you dinner,” “they make you lunch,” and “they give you breakfast.” Mommies “give you snacks,” and my favorite, “they give you gummies!” I know it’s a stereotype, but mommies really are viewed as the ones who provide nourishment. After all, we are literally build for it!
THEY WORK. Mommies work hard, and your kids know it! Mommies “go to work,” “work at home,” “work on the computer,” and “work on the phone.” Sometimes mommies “take us to work with them.” Good work mommies, you are inspiring the next generation.
THEY RELAX. Apparently, sometimes mommies “stay at home and don’t do anything,” “shop on Amazon,” or “get their nails polished.” Well! We’ve certainly earned some downtime haven’t we? Hats off to the hardworking moms who make it look easy!
THEY ARE AWESOME. Mommies “make toys appear!” They “make money and buy you things.” They also “take you to the aquarium and “comb your hair.” But most importantly...
THEY LOVE YOU. Mommies “love you” and “take care of you.” They “give lots of hugs,” and “give you kisses.”
At the end of the day, this is the important part of the job! When your kids know they are loved, they feel more secure and confident and become kind and loving people. So even though apparently lots of other stuff goes unnoticed, (like all the bedtime stories, endless shopping, brushing teeth, and getting up at the crack of dawn to get them to school on time), our kids do notice the stuff that counts. So well done Mommies, and happy Mother’s Day!
|Posted on May 2, 2018 at 8:40 PM||comments (0)|
By, Diana Scharf
Anyone else glad that we are FINALLY having spring? I love spring. I love the robins on my lawn, the tiny buds on the trees, and the tulips that crop up everywhere. It’s a perfect time to be mindful.
Spring is the most sensory season. (Or at least the most pleasantly sensory one). Step outside and close your eyes. What do you notice? Birds chirping? The sweet smell of flowers? The gentle breeze on your skin? The sunshine on your face? That itchy feeling in your nose and throat? (Mindfulness is about discomfort also!)
Kids are experts at exploring the sensations offered by their environment. Today my daughter sat underneath a magnolia tree and played with the fallen flower petals for a long time. She loves the sensation of the soft petals in her fingers. This is her own form of meditation. Not into flowers? Spring offers plenty of other beautiful sights and sounds to notice and appreciate.
So, this spring, I invite you to practice your mindfulness by enjoying the gifts of the season. At its very core, mindfulness is about stopping to smell the roses (even though those don’t really come out until early summer). Happy spring to all!
|Posted on April 19, 2018 at 11:00 AM||comments (0)|
By, Jessica Brown
I remember when I was little I used to have sleepovers with my friend Jennifer (Happy 34th Friendaversarry!). We would stay up for hours trading stickers…not the digital kind..lol
These stickers did not come off once you placed them in your sticker book.
What I remember the most is the games and stories we would make up simply by stuff that we already had. There were no trips to the toy store before a play date. Also, our mothers did not have crafting and baking ready to go for us. As I watch my own children grow up I am so amazed at their imaginations, but sometimes sad when it has to be forced. However just recently that sentiment has changed. Recently I was teaching a particularly rowdy group of toddlers who had a difficult time settling in for their shavasina (rest time) at the end of class. While this isn’t particularly unusual, it seemed that all my “go to” tricks weren’t really working. Even when I gave them coloring so they had something to focus on it seemed like they were just doing it because that’s what I expected them to do. So I went into my yoga bag of tricks and brought out my little LED tea candles. They did in fact rest for a little bit watching the flickering of the candle. Though after a few seconds one of the little boys took his candle up to the only bare wall in the room and was mesmerized by something. You could tell the others were curious, but thought I would be mad if they went to go see. Staring at me I gestured to them that it was OK to go over as well. What happened next was fascinating! Some were pretending to make “flames” while others discovered they could make shadow puppets. Two of the girls, who are the oldest in the class, were putting on a little puppet show together. Before I knew it we were way over the time for the class to be dismissed. If I didn’t have to pick up my own children from school I probably would have stayed! That day I learned two things. Children still poses that kind of imagination and it still comes from the most interesting of places. As I began to play with them a little myself, it reminded me that we all have that little spark in us. It may not come out as often. However, it is there and it can sometimes come from the most un likeliest of places.
|Posted on April 12, 2018 at 11:40 AM||comments (0)|
By, Diana Scharf
I love to google “Pinterest Fails.” There is nothing funnier than seeing a picture of some perfect Martha Stewart-like creation, followed by the picture of how it actually comes out when a mere mortal tries to make it. Some of them are pretty sad! I love that people take enough pride in these failures to post them online. Even better, I love that most of them add the caption, “Nailed it!” Because let’s face it, we should take pride in our hard work, right?
As a society, we often feel pressure to be perfect. However, when we strive for perfection, we leave no room for mistakes. This is a terrible thing because mistakes help us learn and grow. We should never be afraid of trying something new because we might make a mistake. Mistakes are part of life, and who wants to miss out on that?
Yoga leaves lots of room for mistakes! That’s why we call it a “yoga practice,” and not a “yoga perfect.” In yoga, we mess up all the time. I find that no matter how good one is at tree pose, he or she will always fall out of it eventually. But wow, what an attempt we made—Nailed it!
The first time I tried yoga on a paddle board, I attempted a spinal twist and ended up in the water. Nailed it! The second time I did yoga on a paddle board I executed a perfect Warrior 1...and ended up in the water. Totally nailed it! Maybe I wasn’t perfect, but I loved paddle board yoga and I’m glad that I tried it. I did notice that there were people on the shore laughing at us when we fell in the water—but they never even tried to get on a board themselves. So it’s true that they never made a mistake, but they also missed out on a totally awesome experience.
As I write this I’m listening to my daughter take her piano lesson. She just told her teacher “it’s okay if I make a mistake because I’m only in the first grade.” Wisdom from the mouths of babes! I give all of you out there permission to make a mistake no matter how old you are. So get out there and try that new thing that you’re just itching to try. Maybe you’ll do well and maybe you won’t, but at least you did it! And when you’re done, no matter how it went down, I expect you to be proud of yourself because you NAILED IT!
|Posted on February 8, 2017 at 7:10 AM||comments (0)|
By Diana Scharf
My husband has me completely hooked on Netflix's Daredevil series. For those of you who don't know, Daredevil is about the crime-fighting adventures of the very sexy Matt Murdoch, who has been blind since he was nine. Luckily, Murdoch's other senses work in overdrive, and he relies on them to "see." He notices how many heartbeats are in a room, senses the movement of others, changes in breathing patterns. He notices the smells in the air, a person's body heat, and the like. This all comes in very handy when determining where the bad guys are, how many lie in wait, and where to throw a punch or block one. Have you guessed what his real superpower is? It's MINDFULNESS!
Well. We can't all hear a heartbeat from across the room, and we definitely should not use our mindfulness to dispense vigilante justice. (Actually, our legal department wants me to repeat that: DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT DISPENSE VIGILANTE JUSTICE. Please leave those matters to the police. Thank you).
But we can think of mindfulness as a super power. We can all become better people by just paying attention, being aware, and noticing the little things that tend to get overlooked. Does your friend's voice sound a little different today? Do you hear extra stress, sadness or happiness in it? Ask her what's going on--she will appreciate your kindness! Does your significant other carry a little extra tension in his shoulders today? Give him a hug and let him know that you love him--seems like he could use that right now.
For kids, the benefits of mindfulness are really amazing. According to a recent article in Time, kids who practiced mindfulness scored fifteen percent higher in math than their peers. They also showed better social behavior, were less aggressive and better liked. They showed improved focus in school, lower stress levels and overall improved well being. What a gift to give to your child!
As always, with very young children, the challenge is making it relevant so that they stick with it. So if your kid loves superheroes, point out how they use mindfulness: can your child also use super hearing? Ask him to really focus on what's happening around him. What does he notice? Is your child a super sleuth? Give her a magnifying glass and ask what clues she can discover. Maybe your kid can use fairy magic--what does it reveal? What can they notice in the world around them that other people ignore?
Yesterday my daughter decided she wanted to paint. She had a fantastic time (and so did my kitchen floor)! When she finished her painting, she turned her attention to her hands. "Mommy, this feels so good on my hands!" I asked what the paint felt like. "Squelchy." I asked how it felt when she rubbed her hands. Could she make a bigger squelch by squeezing her fists or patting her arm? I asked how how the brush felt, and could she notice the difference between the bristles, the metal and the handle. She didn't answer but I saw her very deliberately touch each part of her brush and take in the sensations.
Then we cleaned up and ate dinner, and I have to tell you, that child was delightful for the rest of the night. She ate her vegetables, didn't fight me when I said it was time for bed and even skipped her usual bedtime routine of begging me to stay with her so she wouldn't be lonely. Super power indeed!
Before I kissed her goodnight, knowing that I was either about to sit down and write this blog or get back to watching Daredevil, I asked her to be still and tell me what sounds she heard. I am not kidding you, she told me she could hear her heartbeat! She didn't hear it from across the room they way Matt Murdoch can, but she's off to a great start!
|Posted on February 2, 2017 at 7:55 AM||comments (0)|
By Diana Scharf
When Groundhog Day rolls around each year, I really have only one question on my mind: what time is the Bill Murray movie on? I suppose I also wonder when spring is coming and whether the groundhog will bite the mayor again, but these are really secondary.
Groundhog Day is an awesome movie and should be required viewing for anyone old enough to appreciate it. It tells the story of Phil Connors, played by the ever awesome Bill Murray. Phil is not a nice person. He does just about as little as he can in the world, and is unhappily settled in his mediocrity. His life changes when he goes to Puxatawney PA to cover the Groundhog Day festivities--or rather doesn't change. Phil becomes doomed to repeat February 2, living the same day over and over.
The obvious symbolism here is that Phil, like so many of us, is stuck in a rut. Just as we sometimes do in yoga, the movie explores how to get yourself unstuck.
After making a series of bad choices based on his existing personality, Phil decides to make a change: he decides to better himself. This is where his story starts to turn around.
In yoga, we begin our journey by looking inward. If we consider the seven chakras, or points of energy in the body, we realize that six of them solely concern what's happening in our own bodies. We can actually see Phil improve himself step by step as we watch him open each chakra:
1. He opens his root chakra as he accepts and becomes secure in the knowledge that he has infinite time. This is Phil's foundation in his new reality.
2. He taps into his creative energies by learning new skills such as piano playing and ice sculpting. This demonstrates the sacral chakra opening up.
3. He shows us his solar plexus chakra coming into balance as he begins to make better choices. No more "Thelma and Louise" moments with the groundhog for him! He is done robbing armored cars and bathing with toasters.
4. A balanced heart chakra allows a person to both give and receive love. At first this poses quite a challenge for our boy Phil. But once Phil begins to show kindness to others, he finally begins to earn the love of both the townspeople and his love interest, Rita.
5. He finds his voice by speaking to and engaging with the townspeople. He speaks the truth; he is no longer picking up women by pretending to know them from high school. By the end of the movie he talks to everyone as if they were old friends with an easy rapport. This demonstrates a balanced throat chakra.
6. The "third eye" chakra represents an inner wisdom. The introspective aspect is hard to pinpoint in the movie since it really translates into Phil growing into a better person overall. However, we do see him acquire wisdom as the movie progresses. He lets Rita teach him about the poetry she loves so much, and though we don't see it happen, they call him Dr. Connors by the end of the movie. So we know that this chakra comes into balance as well.
7. The first six chakras serve us inwardly. However, the seventh chakra looks outward: it connects us to something greater than ourselves. It is not just about the self, this is the energy that we put out into the world. We engage this chakra by becoming mindful of what's happening around us and performing acts of kindness. Where is there a need that we can fill?
Once Phil learns this lesson and brings his final chakra into balance, he finally breaks out of his rut. He realizes that the world is not just about him and his desires. He becomes a part of something greater--a community. He becomes mindful of other people's lives and other people's needs. He observes his environment and learns to really notice. He knows when a kid is going to fall from a tree, when a bunch of old ladies will need a tire change, and when someone will choke in a restaurant. And he makes sure that he is always there to help. All of these good deeds make him the most beloved man in Puxatawny, and teach him to be happy.
We learn from Phil that perspective means everything. He is always in the same place with the same people acting out the same situations. Yet he goes from being utterly miserable and unloved to being blissfully happy and beloved. Absolutely nothing has changed except for the way he now views the world.
Yoga teaches us to view the world in a positive way, with an open heart and an open mind. Yogis see every day as a fresh start, a new opportunity to pour our positive energy into the world. I like to believe that is exactly what the final scene of Groundhog Day shows us as Bill Murray and Andie MacDowell walk out into their snow-covered paradise.
So this Groundhog Day, I challenge you to become a better version of yourself. Be kinder, wiser, or more mindful. Learn to play piano. Try that kettle bell class at the gym. Just do something different. You might be surprised where your new journey takes you.
|Posted on January 30, 2017 at 1:10 PM||comments (0)|
It was an ordinary Saturday just like the rest. I was at the gym with my two children having lunch while my husband went home for his turn for "me time." The cafe was filled with parents just like me doing the Saturday routine of feeding their kids, entertaining them and doing their best to tire them out.
I can't remember the conversation I was having with them, but it definitely consisted of "where are we going next?" Followed by "why can't I have more candy?" While I was answering their questions pretty calmly, my head was screaming "OMG....YOU GUYS NEED TO STOOOOP!"
It was then that it happened. A woman by the name of "Alicia" came up to me and said "you are doing such a good job being a mom..I hope I have your patience when I get home."
For a moment I stared are her. Was she judging me? Was she serious? I mean…I just let my 5 year old have pizza and chips for lunch.
It was then that I noted she worked there and I smiled. Then I said to her "thank you so much. I am definitely trying." As we walked out of the gym I had yet another argument about why we need to wear coats in the winter. However something was a little different. I actually WAS calmer and the screaming in my head had stopped. The stressed out pit in my stomach was gone. I then thought about what just happened.
It made me chuckle to think I somehow made this all look easy. Then I realized later that she wasn't thinking that at all. She was supporting me because she knows it's not. I'm not only talking about parenting here.
We all have our issues and problems to deal with. This one act of kindness has opened my mind to the idea that no matter how tough things are for ourselves, if we support others it helps give perspective and the confidence to persevere. So my challenge now is this. If the moment presents itself, take notice and support someone who looks like they are "just muddling through." You never know what kind of difference you can make in their day and perhaps your own.
There were many people in that cafe and I appreciate being the one who stood out. If only for a moment. So thank you Alicia and you are doing a great job too!
|Posted on January 18, 2017 at 2:45 PM||comments (0)|
By Jessica Brown
I’m So Sorry, but I’m Having a Bad Day We’ve all had them. That day that never seems to end. Those days where everyone seems to be happy and going about their day, but you are struggling through every step. Perhaps you are having one right now. You keep telling yourself that you just need to get through the next few hours and bedtime will be the “cure all.” However when bedtime comes you are lying there angry at the clock. Why is it that time keeps moving, but you can’t seem to just move on with it? According to the book “Sitting Still Like a Frog by Eline Snel, “ Our mind is not unlike a sea or an ocean.
Storms, rain showers, or the sun can transform the surface of any expanse of water into a seething mass of terrifying high waves or into a clear, smooth sheet through which you can see the great depths below.” When we work with children to be more “mindful” during their practice, we often ask them to physically draw how they are feeling on a piece of paper as a way to record their personal “weather report.” Since most young children struggle with feelings and don’t have the words to express themselves appropriately, this gives them a medium to do that n a way they understand. However as an adult, I admit sometimes I don’t have the words to express myself either. That’s where this helpful tool comes in handy with grown ups too! While we may not have the time to put it on paper (but if you can its not a bad idea), simply taking yourself out of your day for a moment can help you acknowledge what is going on in your mind. This can be as simple as closing your eyes on the checkout line, carpool line or commute home and asking yourself, “what is my weather report today?”
By taking our own weather report, we are helping ourselves own and accept how we are feeling. As parents we know that validating our children’s feelings, while it may not solve the problem, helps to get to the root of it. So why not do the same with our own feelings. What is going on in MY “atmosphere” that is contributing to this stormy day? It is then that we can accept that right now it is “raining.” I cannot change that it is raining. I you can accept that “it is what it is” and I must make it work to get through this storm. We might then realize that we acted irrationally or in a way we aren’t proud of. Know that it is OK. We don’t judge because we have all been there. Take a few deep breaths, and continue to work through. Like the weather, we simply cannot change our feelings. We can only know that tomorrow it will be different.
|Posted on January 4, 2017 at 7:00 AM||comments (0)|
By Diana Scharf
I'm not the kind of person who wraps myself up in the lives of celebrities. Their lives don't affect mine and it never really made sense to me to get worked up about their comings and goings. (Except of course when Ryan Reynolds and I were both single because hey, you never know, right)? Which is why I've really spent the last couple of days thinking about why I am so completely saddened over the death of Carrie Fisher.
I, of course, will always be grateful to Carrie Fisher for giving us Princess Leia. She showed my nine-year old self that not every princess waits in a tower for a prince to come and kiss her. Sometimes, a princess leads a rebel alliance. Sometimes, a princess disguises herself as a bounty hunter and tries to rescue her prince. And sometimes a princess takes the very chain that imprisons her and uses it to strangle Jabba the Hut. I never looked at a fairytale princess the same way again.
When I look at the way I raise my daughter and the way I write my classes, I realize the profound impact Princess Leia had on my life. I see it in the books I choose for my daughter. While she certainly knows about Snow White and her powers of cooking and housekeeping, we both prefer stories like Shannon Hale and Dean Hale's "The Princess in Black," where the princess keeps her lands safe by battling monsters and sending them back where they belong. We read about Wonder Woman and Super Girl, where strong women defeat nefarious criminals (and sometimes even rescue Batman and Superman in the process).
Now, don't get me wrong. I love princesses. Especially Disney princesses. I've taught many classes about Ariel, Elsa and the like. (Ask Miss Jessica, I am our go-to-girl if you want a princess yoga class)! But I always try to highlight a princess's strength when I include her in one of my classes. How brave and confident Ariel is to venture out into a new world and re-write her destiny. How strong and powerful Elsa is. And when I write a princess into one of my original yoga stories, you can pretty much be sure that she's going to be kicking butt in a Warrior Pose, overcoming some obstacle.
Recently I decided to test out one of my new classes on my five-year old. The class was really based around the 6 warrior poses, but by way of introduction, I decided to have a princess send her warriors off on a quest. Princess Leia would have done it, she was the boss right? But I was so proud of my kid when she asked if the princess could go on the adventure too. DUH! Of course the princess can go on the adventure too, and shame on me for not including her!
I'm sure that, with the world changing as it did, we were bound to see an action-hero princess at some point. Maybe some were already out there when I was nine. But for me, Princess Leia was the first. Seeing a princess acting as both a leader and someone who could also handle herself in battle was both a revelation and an inspiration for nine-year-old me. I like to think that I subconsciously channel that memory as I teach my daughter those values that make her send her own princesses out on adventures.
So thank you Carrie Fisher. You will continue to shape the world-view of budding princesses everywhere. Especially where I am teaching.